Of Paradox and Loopholes;

WARNING: This isn’t meant to be read/analyzed as it is part
of an experiment I’m doing. Pouring my heart isn’t what I’m doing here.
I’m using my mind instead to analyze things. The heart tends to be very
erroneous and I can’t afford any more additional errors.

They say that Dreams are the windows to the soul.

I say bullshit/otherwise. All that my dreams give me or show me are things that I really don’t have any reactions/relation/knowledge of or things I REALLY DON’T WANT AT ALL. It’s such a frickin feeling when I dream. It’s like I’m a totally different person complete with the whole set  (different names, different friends, different family, heck even different set of memories).

I always forget my dreams afterwards, but I have read once in an article that writing down your dreams just after you wake up helps you remember what your dreams are.

I tried that experiment for this whole week, and guess what? For the first few days I didn’t even dream. I eventally had my first dream though… and it made me wish I didn’t dream at all.

I have this weird pattern of dreaming, it starts with something that has no relation to anyting then chains up magically. I’m just gonna write the segment I remember.

~

"GO AHEAD!! JUMP!! We’ll catch you!!!"

I was walking towards a very tall building, in my dream I was the owner of a skyscraper. A businessman. I however hated every single employee I had.

I was also morbid. I killed any employee by ordering them to go inside this large oven I had and burning them.

I burned a lot of people I knew in real life-cause in my dream, they were all my slaves. My parents, my siblings, my friends. And I didn’t even feel any reservation, remorse or regret. I then dumped their burnt bodies or ashes(if I was feeling extra-snappy) on the window beside my table.

But one time, I tried burning this drunk employee I had, my building caught fire.

Me being on the top roof didn’t really have access for a quick escape. So when I heard voices on my window, and saw some of my employees, although there was something familiar about them, I didn’t think twice and listened to their suggestion to jump.

—Now you would think I woke up right?—

–Wrong–

My floor wasn’t exactly near the ground, a few hundred storeus up to be exact, you can only imagine how stupid it was to jump. I really didn’t realize until all those employees who said they’d catch me slowly turned into burning corpses… I just realized they were the ones I burned…

—Then I woke up because of some stupid News show on the radio(It was on alarm mode)—

~

I really think that dreams are kind of forms of escapism for most of us. But for me… I don’t know. Maybe it’s telling me something, Maybe I have an overly-active imagination, Maybe it was the semi-spoiled macaroni I ate for lunch, whatever it was… It isn’t escapism, no, not for me.

~
The second night I had a less dramatic dream, But it my own honest opinion, it’s the most eerie and twisted.
~

Ever since I was young, I always had this thing against dolls and rebultos(Replicas, Statues and Figurines). I hate them with passion. I mean, I don’t get the concept of making a replica of a living being just to parade it’s existance to the world.

The thought is just eerie for me and it’s a bit "off" and "deadbeat" for my cup of coffee.

~

"I SWEAR I SAW IT MOVE!!"

I was a factory worker at a doll manufacturing factory at my hometown(NO we don’t have them there). And whenever I worked, I always see on the corner of my eyes, the dolls moving. Sometimes carrying knives, sometimes thier eyes turn white.

I tried telling a few people but they were too busy to listen.

I recall being able to hear what they were saying too, but again, no one would listen to me.

Of course they were spoken in "visaya" but since most of you can’t
understand that, I had the courtesy to translate them into english.

"I’d snap her neck", "I’m going to gouge his eyes with a spoon", "How about tying them up and grinding thier heads to the packaging machine".

It got worse, ever statues and toys are starting to speak too, and only I was able to hear it.

I went home, the teddy-bears would say "Just wait when you sleep, I cut open your kidneys"
I went to church, the statues would say "Give me back my legs"-err yeah…

It only got worse and I woke up after jumping into a cliff.

~

It’s weird how you can only wake up when you "die" in your nightmare. Makes me wonder, if that applies to reality. When you die in reality… you know the drift.

It’s like dreams are previews and teasers to what is waiting for us after we die. Afterall, sleeping could be "temporary dying" for all we know…

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